What I Learned After THREE Babies

What I Learned My First Year as a Mom of Three

If you follow me on social media, you’ve probably noticed lately that I’m a little emotional and full of countdowns with things for my kids...the days until our baby has her first birthday (crying) and the days until our oldest starts kindergarten (sobbing)! I will always attest to the fact that everyday is a learning experience as a mother (and person in general), but something about the first year with our third baby has transformed me. As I look back, I wanted to share the things I wish I had done/known sooner! I hope you find it helpful (or at least kind of funny!)

Before we had our second baby, I thought everything was going to be so easy. After all, we had successfully kept a child alive for almost three years already...it’d be like riding a bike right?!

Laugh out loud. Rolling on the floor laughing. I. Was. Wrong. And even after two babies, there was a learning curve when we had the third! I believe there are many factors including the fact that I did not battle postpartum depression with Delphine and I wasn’t just trying to stay afloat as a stay at home mom after leaving what I thought would be my career, but for whatever reason I was much more able to look objectively at this experience and learn from our days. 

So, I’m here to share what I’ve learned in sweet Delphine’s first year of life in hopes that you can take something from me into your life as a mom of one or if you’re ready to birth your eleventh child! 

1. The worse I am, the worse they are. 

There are days when kids will be absolute maniacs no matter what, but I’ve learned that MOST of the time...if they’re having a rough day, it’s because I’M having a rough day. Our kids pick up on EVERYTHING, so keeping truly calm and collected from the inside out will help everyone stay on a good path. (Janet Lansbury has some amazing resources on positive parenting and how to handle any and all situations with kids...her material spoke life into me and gave me so many amazing tools.) 

2. Most things aren’t a big deal. 

My middle girl has picked up the saying, “No big deal!” as she shrugs her shoulders and walks away from a situation. It makes me proud. I was a very anxious mother of two, to a now chill AF mother of three. If they don’t get their hair done, if they have a couple stains on their clothes, if I forget a jacket or wipes every now and then, it really is no big deal. If everyone is safe and happy, issallgood!  

3. Every kid is different. 

The sooner I embraced, realized, and let it be that each of my children were going to be different, a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. When I honored each child and put the effort towards finding what was going to work for them as an individual...it was far less stressful and actually less work for me, and the best part: I saw more joy, love, and compassion within them...along with their better behavior. As I hinted before: the sooner you admit you don’t have it all figured out and that parenting is a moving target, the easier things will be. Hard to comprehend (and carry out, I know) but I promise it’s true! 

4. My marriage is really important.

After nearly five years of my husband and I agreeing to put our kids first always...I realized that we also had to prioritize our marriage and not let it be maintained in the background. No, we didn’t implement a weekly date night, we didn’t go to therapy, we didn’t plan a vacation for the two of us. We both just committed to spending some quality time, having a real conversation everyday, and communicating more openly. The better a team we can be as partners, the better we are as parents. I just want to reiterate that it doesn't have to be a whole big thing...if you can do regular date nights and get a sitter, do! But if it's not in the budget/cards, it's alright. Pick up a pack of Uno from the checkout line at the grocery store and play! (Bonus points for anyone who takes the Love Language quiz online to find out how you feel loved in the biggest way!)

5. The Universe provides exactly what we need.

You can interchange the worse “universe” for anything you’d like...God, Jesus, the gods, Mother Goddess, Source Energy...the message is the same. We are given exactly what we need. It’s proven to me in so many beautiful moments with my three girls. It’s so apparent when I feel so full of love that it might kill me but instead brings me to joyous tears. And this is what I remember during the tough moments: that I’ve been given these amazing gifts. We were brought together in a divine and miraculous process. And this, my friends, is what ultimately reminds me that a applesauce pouch squeezed all over the back seat of my mom van ain’t. no. thang. 

6. Cherish every fleeting moment.

I’m not going to repeat all the cliches here, but just ask you instead to: stop at least one time everyday, and soak it all in, kiss them, hug them, tell them you love them, let them tell you they love you and hear them. Remember the sights, the smells, the softness of your baby’s cheek against yours, the little suckling motion they make while they sleep, the way they cling your fingers while they learn to walk. It will all be a thing of the past too soon. 

What have you learned in your motherhood journey this far? Share with us in the comments. 💕