All Of You, Lenna Lou

Every once in a while, I have these transcendent moments about parenting. The parenting “tactics” (I don’t like that word because it sounds like I’m going into battle...but I guess some days it’s not far off) I use for my oldest two are vastly different—because they are vastly different. They have very different needs, respond very differently to the same situations, and have completely different emotional reactions to my intervening in their activities/desires/time. In turn, I’m constantly looking for clues and ways I can parent each of them in a more loving, fitting way for each of them individually. 

The other day, I took Lennon to the park. She did all the things that I had become so used to watching her do: climb the twirly ladder, cross the rope bridge, climb the tallest ladder on her own...all with the utmost bravery and happiness and INSISTENT that she did not need my help. It just so happened that there were two other kids there that were the same age as Lennon. I was standing with their parents watching the kids. 

We all started a conversation, and then the other parents started admiring Lennon’s ability, and even more than that, her bravery. They said how focused and determined she was, how comfortably she took risks, how it must’ve been scary for me to let her try these things. I was so surprised, and laughing a little, because Lennon had been giving me the straight arm and doing these things herself for the last six months now. 

But that’s when it hit me that some of the things I have the tendency to try and tone down in Lennon, are the very things that are going to serve her for the rest of her life, and of course were serving her on that very day. Yes, her independence and willingness to question (and challenge and disregard) authority along with her fierce tenacity and risk taking are hard for me as a parent at times, but the last thing I want to do is minimize these characteristics in my growing girl. I need to be able to find a balance to show Lennon that while boundaries and safety are important, pushing limits and even challenging authority are good things to do for life, not just as a two year old. 

I know that as she grows, there will be other people that advise Lennon to “tone it down” or to “be more careful” or maybe even to “just do it how they’re doing it”...and I don’t want to be one of them. I want her to be able to look at those people and be comfortable in telling them no, that she’s going to be who she is, that she’s going to do it her way. I want her to know that all the things that make her “too much” for some people are the things that are going to bring her everything she’s ever wanted. I want her to know that from a young age, her mama told her it was good to be a fighter, to stand out, to be true to herself. 

But most of all, I want Lennon to know that I love all of her. The bravery that sometimes makes it hard to stand by and let her do it herself, the funny part that can brighten even the worst day, the sweet part and the fiery part of her, it’s all admirable and lovable and equally important...and that it’s ALL exactly what she needs to change this world.